Monday, May 23, 2011

The Other F-Word Cee Lo Green Forgot

I’d never heard of Kenny Chesney until several years ago. Kenny Chesney was a successful Country singer for years before I’d heard of him. Then he had a crossover hit. “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” I love that song – it made me laugh! I’d never heard of Alan Jackson until several years ago. Alan Jackson was a successful Country singer for years before I’d heard of him. Then he had a crossover hit. “Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning On That September Day,” about 9-11. I love that song – it made me cry. I’d never heard of Cee Lo Green until several months ago. But that’s okay, because he’s probably never heard of me either.

Cee Lo Green is a rap singer and music producer. Cee Lo Green is one-half of the duo, Gnarles Barkley, who had a hit song a few years ago called “Crazy.” I didn’t know any of that. I didn’t see Cee Lo Green until he was on The Colbert Report last fall. That’s when he sang his new hit song, “Forget You.” That’s a euphemism for another phrase that we won’t get into here in church. Stephen Colbert being Stephen Colbert, had Cee Lo Green replace “Forget You,” with the words, “Fox News.” “I see you driving ‘round town with the girl I love and I’m like, ‘Fox News.’”

“Forget You” is a delightful song. I love that song. I listen to that song over and over and over again. Not for its lyrics; no, no, no. But the melody is…it’s what they used to say about songs on American Bandstand. “It’s got a good beat and it’s easy to dance to.” The lyrics are problematic, especially for a preacher. “I see you driving ‘round town with the girl I love and I’m like, ‘Forget you!’ I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough and I’m like. ‘Forget you and forget her too.’” The song goes on like that, with Cee Lo Green seemingly bitterly saying, “Forget you.” He told Stephen Colbert the song is not autobiographical. Stephen Colbert said something like, “Oh, because no girl would ever leave you for another man.” Cee Lo Green said something like, “That’s right.” I don’t want to make more out of this song than is necessary, but I do think there is something to be made out of this song. Spiritual leaders would say Cee Lo Green is making the wrong choice. He shouldn’t say, “Forget you.” He should say another word that begins with the letter “F.”

At a memorial service I say, “We mourn the loss and celebrate the life” of the deceased. What would I say if I were to conduct a memorial service for Osama bin Laden? “We celebrate the loss and mourn the life of Osama bin Laden”? When I first heard the news of Osama bin Laden’s death, part of me wanted to run outside, shout for joy and fire my guns into the air! (You know, if I owned any guns.) But upon further reflection, Lincoln’s words about the “better angels of our nature” came to me. And I remembered that Osama bin Laden was a human being just like you and me. Since I knew I would be speaking at a Unitarian Universalist church a couple weeks ago, I remembered the first principle of Unitarian Universalism, which affirms and promotes, “The inherent worth and dignity of every person.” Did the person who planned the 9-11 attacks have “worth and dignity”? However reluctantly we might answer that question, the only conclusion we can come to is: Of course he did. So, although I understood the feelings of my fellow Americans, who danced in the streets of Washington, New York and elsewhere, I would not have joined them. And I appreciated our president’s understated, non-smirking response to bin Laden’s death. Barack Obama was all business. And while his business as President and Commander in Chief of the United States of America was to bring Osama bin Laden to justice, my business as a pastor is to remind us of the words of Jesus and Swami Sivananda and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

Jesus knows about forgiveness. According to the Gospel of Matthew in the Christian New Testament, “Then Peter came and said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if someone sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy times seven times.’” We’re not to take that answer literally. He doesn’t mean forgive 490 times. He means forgive forever.

Swami Sivananda knows about forgiveness. Swami Sivananda was a Hindu spiritual leader. Swami Sivananda says if you forgive, “You will enjoy peace, poise and serenity. You will become divine.” In other words, we will become like God, who, if God exists, must be full of forgiveness. As the saying goes: To err is human; to forgive, divine.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu knows about forgiveness. Archbishop Desmond Tutu was chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission after Apartheid was ended in that country. Archbishop Desmond Tutu says, “[W]hen I talk of forgiveness I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person. A better person than the one being consumed by anger and hatred.” If only we could all be like Desmond Tutu.

When I was going through a divorce several years ago, I went to see a therapist, because I wasn’t very forgiving. She said basically that when you fail to forgive someone who has hurt you, “You let them live rent free inside your head.” And who wants to do that?

A woman is sexually assaulted. Understandably, she hates her rapist. The woman is consumed with anger. Her life is limited to reliving that nightmare over and over and over again. Her life is a repetition of feelings of: anger and hatred, anger and hatred, anger and hatred. Until one day she realizes her feelings are doing nothing to her rapist, who’s been sent to prison for many years. She is the only person being hurt by her anger and hatred. So after several years of therapy, she decides to forgive her rapist and is set free. She stops saying, “Forget you,” or words to that affect, and says instead, “I forgive you.”

A man is ripped off by a con artist. He invests money with him. He makes an incredible return on his investment for a few years. Ten, fifteen, twenty percent. So he ends up investing all of his life savings with the con artist. The man eventually learns he’s been the victim of a ponzi scheme. He looses his life savings. How could he be so stupid? They say whenever anything seems too good to be true, it probably is. Why didn’t he realize that? Understandably, he hates the con artist. The man is consumed with anger. His life is limited to reliving that financial nightmare over and over and over again. His life is a repetition of feelings of: anger and hatred, anger and hatred, anger and hatred. Until one day he realizes his feelings are doing nothing to the con artist, who’s been sent to prison for many years. He is the only person being hurt by his anger and hatred. So after several years of therapy, he decides to forgive the con artist and is set free. He stops saying, “Forget you,” or words to that affect, and says instead, “I forgive you.”

A girl is verbally abused by her father. “You’re stupid. You’re ugly. You’ll never amount to anything.” He told her that since she was a baby. For a time, she even believes her father’s vicious words. Understandably, she hates her father. The girl, now a woman, is consumed with anger. Her life is limited to reliving her childhood nightmare over and over and over again. Her life is a repetition of feelings of: anger and hatred, anger and hatred, anger and hatred. Until one day she realizes her feelings are doing nothing to her father. She is the only person being hurt by her anger and hatred. So after several years of therapy, she decides to forgive her father and is set free. She stops saying, “Forget you,” or words to that affect, and says instead, “I forgive you.”

Forgiving others is one thing. What about when we have to forgive ourselves, for a mistake we made years ago or just yesterday? If we don’t, we risk living that mistake over and over and over again. If we’ve made such a mistake, it’s time to stop saying, “Forget you,” or words to that affect, to ourselves, and to say instead, “I forgive you.” Then we will be set free.

So, while I love Cee Lo Green’s song – because it’s got a good beat and it’s easy to dance to – the words we all should live by are not, “Forget you,” or words to that affect. The words we all should live by are, “I forgive you.” Otherwise we risk living in an endless loop of anger and hatred, anger and hatred, anger and hatred. And we risk living that over and over and over again. Almost as often as I listen to Cee Lo Green’s song, “Forget you.”

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